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It’s important to take a moment to acknowledge how incredibly difficult it can be to tell someone about this type of trauma. Showing your appreciation for their trust at the beginning of the conversation may help them feel more comfortable.

You can begin to show your support by saying something like: “谢谢你告诉我这些. It means a lot to me that you feel you can share this with me."

信贷: 强奸、虐待 & 乱伦全国网络(RAINN)

Even though your first instinct may be to try to give advice on what to do, it’s important to let them make their own choices about what to do next. You don’t have to have all the answers––you just have to listen and let them know that you are there for them to help in any way they need.

信贷: 强奸、虐待 & 乱伦全国网络(RAINN)

不带评判地倾听 and give them your undevided attention. Stay calm, even if what they're telling you is upsetting you, try not to react with anger or outrage.

支持性、非评判性反应的例子:

• 全神贯注. 如果有人开始告诉你他们发生了什么, put down whatever you’re doing and pay attention to them.
• 关注他们的感受. 听 to whatever they are telling you in a calm and empathetic manner. 即使你感到愤怒、沮丧或震惊, try to keep those emotions within yourself and focus your attention on supporting the person in front of you.

使用支持性的短语，比如:

• “我很抱歉发生在你身上的事.”
• “我相信你。.”
• “你并不孤单.”
• “这不是你的错.”

不要做的例子:

• 不要问他们是否绝对确定这件事发生了. This will likely make them feel that you do not believe them.
• Don’t say that what they’ve described doesn’t sound like sexual assault to you, 或者它“没那么糟糕”.”
• 不要问事情的细节.
• Don’t insist that they have to do certain things––such as report to police, 去做性侵犯法医检查, 或者向他人透露. It is fine to let someone know that these options exist and to ask them if they are interested in pursuing any of them, 但是你不应该给他们施加压力.

信贷: 强奸、虐待 & 乱伦全国网络(RAINN)

First inform them that you are a mandated reporter who has to inform the University of any disclosures regarding sexual harassment or misconduct. Ask the reporting party if they would like to proceed with the conversation. If not, respect their decision and provide them with 资源 in case they need further assistance. 如果是，继续下一节.

Ensure that the person is not in any immediate danger. Ask if they are safe to go to class, go to work, go home, etc. If there is an immediate threat, ask them if you can call on their behalf:

• Law enforcement - UWF Police Department has plain clothes officers if needed
• 学生办公室主任
• 第九条项目

不带评判地倾听. Make note of any details you may need to include in a report to the 第九条 Coordinator including names of parties involved, 日期, 位置, 特定的行为. 

倾听，但不要调查. Often when well-meaning people start asking others’ questions or attempting to mediate, it can prevent the 第九条 process from working like it is supposed to. 这可能包括侵犯双方的隐私, preventing our office from receiving un-influenced first hand knowledge, initiating punitive requirements prior to a finding of responsibility, or even providing well intentioned accommodations which then prevent equitable access to University activities and programs including classroom engagement.

每个人对环境的反应都不一样, and there is no right or wrong way to deal with personal trauma. 验证 the person’s reaction to the situation without making any empty promises. “You have every right to be upset” or “I’m so sorry you are dealing with this” is perfectly acceptable.

At this stage you and or the 第九条 staff can seek to empower the reporting party with choices. Those who have experienced sexual harassment or misconduct often feel as though they have lost control over their own circumstances, so allowing them to start making their own decisions is a step toward healing.

Remind them that you have 报告 this incident to the 第九条 Coordinator, 同时也鼓励他们去寻找其他的 资源. We have a list on our website of on and off campus 资源 for those seeking help.